


Essence of You

by EmpressOfRoses



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:12:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpressOfRoses/pseuds/EmpressOfRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy had seen the fall. Clarke survived the fall.</p>
<p>When the drop ship lands, with Clarke as their leader, she plans to make them as safe as they can be, as well as make contact to the ark as soon as possible. She doesn't include meeting other humans alive on the ground in her plans though. </p>
<p>Bellamy had seen the ship land on the ground. His nation hadn't been happy about it, and since he had been spying on them, they were waiting for the right time, right place to let themselves known to them. All he had to do was wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bellamy POV

 

It wasn’t staring if it had a purpose. Bellamy told himself that quite a lot of times since the other humans had landed on the ground. 

They’d set up their base, making use of what materials they had. It had been an interesting two weeks to see how they had made their home as much as they could. He knew where they came from, space, the ark, he knew it all, they however had no clue he was spying on them, for those two weeks. Every single day.

Unless he was unaware they had seen him, which they hadn't. He’d trained for years to become the warrior he was now, and there was no way he would have been seen.

Bellamy watched in fascination, these humans could barely get food for themselves let alone water, especially with the “monster” in there, he’d heard one of them say that. Odd use of language these people, so very different from him and his nation.

He’d observed them all, watching them. Although, his observations had become focused on one individual in particular.

Clarke. Or so the others would say that to her. She was their leader of sorts. She’d been their leader since they’d got here, some had dismayed the decision, yet they had soon changed that when she proved herself.

She helped them, some got injured and it would seem she was their healer, their main and only healer. She worked quickly and efficiently. She had also explored, of which saying there were no other humans as they had not come to them yet. How wrong she was. She had an idea of what danger they were in though, setting up “walls” of sorts made from wood. She was observant of the threat around them, he’d give her that, but not as observant as a leader should be.

Bellamy turned away from their camp to come face to face with his sister. His very much annoying sister.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, annoyed. He pushed past her and began to walk the trek back to their home.

Octavia caught up, now walking next to him.

“Mother was looking for you” she said. He looked at her, watched her as she watched the surroundings, looking for anything of threat.

“She wanted to know your progress, she didn't think you’d actually take this task seriously when Droco gave it to you”.

Droco was commander of the army, he was in charge and anything he said goes. Bellamy had to work his way up in the ranks, being the heir and prince to their nation with Essen as their King, Essen being Bellamy’s father, he had a lot to prove. He had done it, beaten what everyone said about him, not using his power as prince to be able to jump to the top. So had Octavia, she was under him in rank, but she had proved them wrong as well.

“I take everything seriously O, you know that, everyone knows that” He says, slowing his walk now they were far enough from the other humans.

“Yeah, but not as seriously as this one, sure we've had others trespass, but you haven’t been as interested in them” she pushes, wanting his answer. He wasn’t going to give her one that she wanted to hear.

“I take them all seriously, just these people don’t belong here like the others, the others, they have some resemblance to us, they know about our nation, these people, the news ones, haven’t got a clue that we’re and many other humans are alive and basically living right next door” she nodded her head, agreeing with him.

“We need to take them seriously, see if they’re a threat and do something about them soon. They came from space O, space, they’re technology probably surpasses ours” He says, serious enough to get the message across to O.

“Not by a lot though” she says smirking, giving him a look that promise devastation.

He nodded “Yeah, but we still need to be careful about them. We don’t know a thing about them and they don’t know us. For now, that makes us enemies”.

It wasn’t like she didn't listen, she did and she was a great person to unload all your problems on to, but she wasn’t the next king, he was, and he wasn’t going to let his guard down, he didn't for anyone.

 

Clarke POV

 

Two weeks. Two weeks on this ground and still no message from the Ark. Two weeks.

She looked up at the sky, wanting to curse the ark from here but obviously that wouldn't do any good, so she looked around, making sure none of the others were watching her and put her middle finger up at it, shaking it for good measure and then put it down. What was her life?

They’d been sent here, in their tin of a rocket ship and all that was said was “good luck”. Honestly, _good luck_ , really? They didn't even know if the ground was toxic, whether they were going to die and they said _good luck._ Why bother sending them here if they didn't know if we were going to survive, they should have just floated them.

She wanted to choke someone. Anyone.

She gave everyone mean looks as she walked throughout the camp they had set up, standing straight, showing everyone not to mess with her, of course, people moved out of her way. She got the tent that had been specifically made for medical and went it, seeing Jasper here again. His hand bleeding, again.

Sighing, she shook her head at him, but he only gave her a grin and waved at her. Clarke wondered how in the hell he had done it this time, but not asking cause he’d probably say it anyway.

“Do you wanna know how I did it?” Jasper said, wiggling his eyebrows.

She gave him a bored stare. “No” and made her way to him.

“Well too bad, I’m gonna tell it anyway”

She sat down on the small stool made of wood and washed his cut, dressed it, all the while him telling her how he had done it. He had been climbing a tree, looking all around trying to find some root or berry that had some “wonderful colours” and “looks like a big spoon” and had clearly fallen out of the tree.

She finished and he went back out of the tent calling for Monty cause he wanted to keep looking for it. “Don’t fall out of any more trees Jasper!” She called out to him and she heard him say he won’t. Yeah, alright. Not.

She started to put what little medical supplies they had left away, carefully placing them in the correct places of the small tent. It didn't look like a medical tent, and certainly wasn’t as clean as it should be, but they had to make do.

She walked back to the drop ship, only a couple of feet away and went inside, going to their primary and only mechanic who was able to get a signal out to the ark. Raven had tried multiple times and had failed.

“Anything” Clarke said, sounding hopeful but also not holding her hopes up. It had been a long time and the ark would have gotten a message to them somehow. They’d been dropped in the right place, so the ark knew where to find them.

“Nothing. Not a goddamn thing” Rave said, looking at all the equipment they had, it wasn’t much, but they had to make do with what they've got.

Clarke rubs her eyes and her shoulders drop, she hadn't been hopeful, but it’d been nice to hear some news or at least some progress, but she can’t fault Raven for trying.

She looks at Raven, the dark circles under her eyes showing and the way she was hunched over.

“Go get some sleep” Clarke said, wanting her to at least rest for a couple of hours. She looked like she was going to drop right there when Clarke said it and Raven shook her head.

“I can’t, I need to do this” she was about to turn around when Clarke grabbed her arm gently, and turned her around to face her.

“Please go and get some sleep” Clarke's voice gentle, her eyes hard “otherwise I’ll get Finn to come and make you”.

Raven narrows her eyes for a full minute, but so does Clarke, neither of them giving in until Raven sighs heavily, eyes closing slowly.

“Ok” She makes her way out of the drop ship, picking up the curtain of material and then it falls down quickly.

Clarke sits down on the chair Raven had been using, pushing her hair roughly out of her face, breathing in deeply and out slowly. Her vision was becoming blurry from the tears filling them up, one of them dropping from her eyes, landing on her trouser.

She rubbed the other one away, roughly scrubbing her eyes with her hands and scolding herself for being weak. She slowly but surely she breathed in and out, soothing herself and fanned her face to get rid of the hot flush that she’d felt bloom.

She then walked outside, fully taking in earth since she had gotten here. Yeah, she had explored but she hadn't fully accepted where she was.

She watched the colours of the sunset, her hand twitching at her side, wishing she had pencils even one just to draw shades and shapes of the sky.

She knew though, like all sunsets she had watched since being here, that even though this day has ended, a new one was just beginning.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, thought I'd write a new chapter. Sorry its a bit late, I will try to update at least one of my novels/books/fan fictions, whatever you want to call them, once a week. I know, it's horrible when one of your favourite books/novels/fan fictions hasn't been updated in a while and you wait for ages!
> 
> Sorry it's a bit short, tried to give you guys something rather than nothing, I've been very busy lately! I will try to make the chapters longer!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy it! As always leave feedback/comments if you want to!
> 
> Also thank you for the Kudos kind people, truly appreciated!
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> EmpressOfRoses

 

Clarke POV

_Clarke looked at the door, the two guards standing there watching her until they finally walked into the room._

_They roughly pulled her, both grips on her arm tight._

_“Where am I going? What’s going on?!?” she asked frantically, wondering why they would take her from her cell, the small space she’d lived in for months now, the only comfort she had._

_They didn't answer, instead making her walk with them, ignoring the protests and questions that Clarke fired at them._

_They dragged her along corridors, going through doors of a different area of the Ark. Not even she had been here before, no one of the Ark had as it was illegal, but these guards walked perfectly, like they knew exactly where they were going.  That scared her the most._

_She looked around, taking in all what she could see. They entered a small room with four different seats, each spaced apart quite far, and they sat her down on the end one, reaching behind her to pull out restraints that she didn't see. She didn't fight them when they tightened them, almost painfully before stepping away. One of the guards stared her down, glaring at her._

_“Move and I shoot” his hands gripping his gun tightly as she moved on her seat, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard, metal chair. A doctor came out of the same door they came in, Dr. Richards, one of Clarke’s mum’s friends, and he walked towards her, carrying some files and a box._

_“Hi Clarke” he said, his voice small, his eyes looking at Clarke but also on the guards, back and forth between the two, but mostly on her._

_Clarke was gasping, trying to breathe but couldn't get a rhythm to it. She could feel her eyes watering and her mouth was trembling but she couldn't get the words out. Forcing herself to calm down, watching the guards as well, she finally took a deep breath and tried to compose herself._

_“What’s going on?” she manage to get out, looking at Dr.Richards. He shook his head, looking at some files he brought into the room with him and then looking at Clarke, his eyes darting to the guards, he opened his mouth to say something but one of the guards spoke._

_“That’s Classified” his monotone voice boomed into the room._

_Richards looked at the guard, watched him for a couple of seconds before turning back to his small box, opening it to reveal some medical equipment, one of them caught Clarke’s eye. She watched as he took the syringe filled with a bright orange coloured liquid into his hand, squirting it a little to get the first bit of liquid to come out and no air._

_“This will hurt a little bit, but then you should be ok” he had put the syringe into Clarke's arm when he said that before pushing the liquid in and pulling it out when it had all gone into Clarke._

_She looked around, the whole room turning and spinning. She blinked sluggishly, waiting to see if she could stop it but it continued to spin and spin and spin. She mumbled and could hear people speaking but couldn't focus on them, she couldn't focus on anything._

_She saw bright lights of the room before everything went black._

Clarke didn't remember falling. All she knew was that they survived. Somehow.

She remember everything before that, the room, Richards, the guards and how she endured the small boxed room she had lived in for god knows how long. Clarke thought she had lost her sanity a while ago, only to be thrust into this reality, a reality that need sanity.

“Clarke!” she heard Raina shout from the woods they had headed in. she didn't sound in trouble so Clarke walked at a good pace, finding Raina and Jasper sitting on the ground, looking at a particular berry. It looked like a blueberry in size, has an oval shape and there were vines full of them, the seeds varied in colour, from red, black and orange.

“What are they?” Clarke said, curious over what they were. She’d never seen any of these berries before and they hadn't learnt these from their lessons on the Ark, most foods had been covered in their classes.

“We don’t know, we have no idea if they are edible or not” Raina said, unsure.

“I suggest we don’t take these, only what we know, we have no idea how dangerous or edible these things are and I don’t want to find out” Jasper said, sighing he moved to standing position. He handed over a couple of berries to Clarke who squished them looking at the clear liquid running out of them before dropping them on to the floor.

Clarke was nodding and agreed with him, Raina, however, didn't agree.

“Guys we need all the food we can get” She looked thinner, and just as exhausted as Clarke felt, but they couldn't afford to become ill over a plant that they didn't know.

Clarke shook her head, blinking slowly, rubbing her eyes, forgetting the liquid on her hand. She made a face when she felt the liquid on her eye before rubbing it with her coat sleeve.

“No Raina, we can’t” Raina sighed, accepting defeat and raising to standing.

As they made their way back to camp, Clarke looked around, shivering from the cold wind blowing in her face, hair getting into her eyes. She could feel a headache coming on, the pounding in her temple making her scrunch her eyes to try and dull it.

They made it beyond the walls and all went their separate ways. Clarke was walking back to the medical tent, looking at all the others progress of how the camp was coming along. They were finally getting somewhere.

The headache worsening as she moved throughout the camp. Clarke tried to ignore it as much as she could.

She checked in the tent, walking back out when no one was waiting for her and went back to her own tent, sitting on the hard bed, it was made of wood and leaves, but it was better than the hard ground.

Clarke laid down, putting a hand over her forehead to stop her head from being so heavy and the tents ceiling spin. The headache had become worse as she laid down.

Clarke closed her eyes, hoping and waiting for sleep to settle in quickly, and for the first time in a long time, it did.

 

 

Bellamy POV

 

Bellamy shook his head as he watched them look at the berries throughout the forest, looking at them and naming some correctly, some not and others they had absolutely no idea what they were.

He had waited for them to slip up, to do something stupid and when he saw they did slip up, it was the person he least expected it to be.

She rubbed her eyes, the juice form the berries still on her hands.

She rubbed her eyes.

He sighed when she did that and rubbed his face, watching them walk away back towards their base, Clarke trudging along behind the other two, the poison already probably kicking in.

They weren't that far from the camp, only a couple of meters so they weren't in any danger, but they could have been.

He had two choices.

He could either save the girl, making himself and his nation known, as well as potentially putting himself in danger of being caught by the people in the camp, even though he could slip in now, while she was out and bring her back to his safe place, away from his nation and not far from here, a hidden bunker of sorts, that what they called them right?. Or, he could let her die and let the others be without a leader, probably leading to chaos and possibly putting his people in danger.

Decisions.  

He scanned the silent camp through the trees, carefully taking in his surroundings while he moved through the darkness, wondering if he was doing this for her or himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Bellamy POV

 

He looked at the sunrise before him. He’d seen it many times before, he got up before sunrise for training most days so he always saw it and he very much enjoyed it. O had always questioned him about it, catching him staring and laughing when he fumbled for an excuse. Now he’d just tell her the truth, that he liked it, he didn't know why, he just did.

He didn't want to admit to himself that he enjoyed it even more now though. He’d seen her watching it. He always made it to their camp before most had them got up, but she was one of the first, and she’d be watching it and he’d be watching her. A bit much for only seeing her from afar for two week, but Bellamy had a feeling about her.

Sighing he rubbed his face with his hand, before going back inside his small, but homey sanctuary.

It truly was one of a kind and no others existed, he knew, his nation had destroyed most of them. During the war many tunnels were built, made to aid the soldiers from going about place to place, however it became a burden, the enemies learned about them and used them to their advantage of course.

That had been many, many years ago and they still existed before they became a menace, people going in and out, enemies sneaking in. His dad had them destroyed, ensuring that none remained. Bell was surprised to find this one still about, the tunnel was well hidden, he only found it on accident and even then he was still surprised, it was only because he was so observant that he found it. He then made certain no one else would, and no one else had for years since and Bellamy hadn't shared it to anyone, knowing he would be in trouble if they found out, even though it’s not even a proper tunnel, only one leading to his sanctuary.

It was his and only his, well it had been, before he saved her.

He tried to comprehend what exactly he was doing, trying to decide whether he was stupid for saving her or stupid for doing it for his own desires. He tried, he honestly did, but he just shook his head giving up. What’s done is done, and nothing was going to change that.

He sat down on the metal chair, the coolness of it making him shiver. He had slept but then woke up.

He had placed her on his bed gently and then went to his small pack he carried with him, he kept more weapons than medicine on him, but he was glad he still carried it with him today, thanking O for reminding him to get it.

He got out a few small bottles, looking at their colours before picking up the green one. This was the remedy to it, it had been made it bulk by the medicus, this poisoning happened a lot more than one realised. He opened her mouth with his fingers and then put a few small drops onto her tongue, he didn't mean to stare at her lips or lightly caress them with his fingertips, be he did and as much as he wanted himself to regret it, he couldn't.

She sighed when he did though and he denied to himself that it didn't make his heartbeat faster.

He put his head in hands, he didn't know what to do, or how to explain himself to him, she’d likely believe him that she was ill, because she was witnessing it herself, but he didn't know if she’d see this as a nice gesture, or maybe not.

He doesn't know, he can’t guess her reactions, but from what he’s seen from afar is that she is a good leader and will hopefully understand.

Bellamy's head shot up when he heard coughing. Looking at her he could see she was still asleep but coughing, although after a few seconds she sat up eyes wide looking everywhere in the room before settling on him.

He hear her breathe hitch and see her hand shaking, coming up slowly to her throat and holding it, a gesture some people did when they were nervous or scared. Fear.

He looked into her eyes, those pale blue eyes and knew he was gone.

 

 

Clarke POV

 

She couldn't breathe. Or that’s what this feeling in her chest felt like.

She tried to comprehend what happened? Or the last thing she remembers? She knows about those berries and walking through the woods, having a pounding headache, but after that, nothing.

She breathed in deeply to stop her from coughing further and relaxed until she felt the soft material beneath her, absolutely nothing like the hard ground and few leaves of uncomfortableness she had dealt with the past few weeks.  

She sat up, searching around her, not finding the thin material of her tent but a room, a fairly medium sized room. How did she get here?! She frantically search for answers not finding any in her mind, but finding one that sat before her.

She stopped breathing, not at finding him sitting but at him himself.

Her hand shook as she moved it towards her neck, a comfort thing she had for when she was nervous, a restriction of sorts, it helped her check if she was in reality, and from the way she felt the beating pulse against her hand she’d say she was.

His intense dark gaze on her, just staring and unmoving.

It unnerved her a little, but she didn't feel nervous or scared, that’s what she told herself anyway.

She knew that humans were still on earth, she had a feeling. She just didn't picture them, couldn't actually, they could have changed or evolved to the earth's habitat physically appearance wise, although, the man before her looked human.

Clarke looked at him, really looked and found he was no different from any other man on the ark or down here at camp. Although he did look bigger muscle wise, which Clarke had to drag her eyes from, he looked the same.

Clarke was about to say something when a sharp pain erupted in her head. She gasped and clutched at it, she could feel tears running down her cheeks.

He got up at that and picked up a small green bottle, holding it out to her. She dint know why, but she trusted him, trusted him enough to take the bottle and drink a little sip, a sweetness taste hit her tongue. All but a few seconds later the pain faded away, she blinked a few times to see if it would surprise her again, but nothing did.

She frowned at him, wondering why he had given that to her and why he was helping her.

She began to feel light headed and everything around her was swaying, the man’s face blurring. She fell back and closed her eyes to stop it and began to drift and fall into darkness.

“Sleep Clarke” She swore she heard before she finally drifted away into nothingness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I had a block and then I started writing yesterday before I lost all the work for not saving it properly! Always save your work people! I have finally finished a project for my works however I am just starting to go back to college (UK college by the way not UNI yet!) so I'm still going to be busy, sorry about that guys. 
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to leave comments/feedback if you want! Also thank you for kudos kind people, always appreciated :) 
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> EmpressOfRoses


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke POV

 

When Clarke woke again, she was looking up at the blue sky. She blinked hard, wondering if she was seeing things but when she opened her eyes, the man and the room that she had woken to, were gone and in replace of them a soft breeze and shouting, lots and lots of shouting.

She turned her head, feeling the leaves beneath her and found the camps makeshift walls. They weren't exactly secure but for now they were doing a good job, well, she thought they were doing a good job until she was kidnapped.

She sat up slowly, waiting for the pounding in her head to come again, only this time, it didn't. Running her fingers through her hair and tearing the leaves out of it, she focused back on the camp, still hearing the shouts and got up, dusting the dirt from her trousers she hastily made her way to the camp, tripping on twigs but moved forward, turning her head to look around her whilst biting her lip.

The thing is, she was only a few feet away from the walls and she questioned herself on the man and the room, she swore she didn't dream that up and Clarke hasn't got a record for sleepwalking, she doesn't dream that much and usually your dreams form from what you she had seen or done the day before, and she had never seen that man in her life, she would know, everyone knew everyone on the ark.

She made it to the walls and brought her trembling hand up, brushing it all the way round to the sliding door before pulling it open and walking in. everyone was gathered around, Jasper and Monty at the middle talking before the others started to talk over them. No one had noticed her yet and she was glad, until they mentioned her name.

“Where has she gone?” Someone questioned, they sounded annoyed, it was Ravens boyfriend, Finn, she didn't like him and had a bad feeling about him ever since they got here, and he looked like the person to be confident, and a trouble maker. “I bet she left us all, to go out there and leave us here to die!” he shouted, it was purposeful and because of that a panic ensued with everyone before Monty shouted.

“Clarke wouldn't leave!?” and Jasper backed him up “She wouldn't leave us here, she has helped us this far, being a good leader, where would she go? She’s just as clueless as we are and she’s not stupid enough to go out there alone!”

“She might have been taken!?” a girl said and everyone else was agreeing, nodding their heads.

Clarke frowned, wondering how long she had been gone for this too occur, maybe a couple of days, definitely no longer than a week. Jasper was just about to say something and then he spotted her, his eyes widening on seeing her and he started to move towards her pushing people out the way before grabbing her and hugging her tightly.

She could hear people gasp and people started to talk, loudly.

Jasper moved away from her, still gripping her shoulders before hugging her again and letting go, only for Monty and Raven to join, she was a little surprised at raven, but held it in, she knew how hard it was to show emotions, she was just like her, keeping it in and never letting it out in front of anyone.

_The struggle is real._

“What? Where have you been? Are you alright?” so many questions were fired at her, Monty and Jasper mostly worried, Raven looked a bit worried and angry at the same time, Clarke didn't know if that was possible, while everyone else was either watching or talking amongst themselves.

She shook her head slowly, grimacing at the attention from everyone. She clenched her hands, the sharp sting from her nails bringing her back to somewhat normal. “How long have I been gone?”

Monty looked reluctant to tell her, but Jasper did “Two days, what happened?” he asked.

Clarke wanted to tell them, she really did, but how was she meant to tell them something that she didn't even know herself to be real. _Maybe it wasn’t real_. She could have imagined it all and went out, sleepwalked, and somehow had the most realistic but unlikely dream.

She looked around the forest and trees that surrounded them, the others stared at her, waiting for her answer. She didn't know what she was going to find and looking, searching for anything, and she found the answer, staring at her through the trees, also probably waiting for her to say and tell them about him.

But she didn't want him to be the answer, she didn't want to tell them and worry everyone around camp that humans were still habiting earth and she didn't want to put him in danger, she didn't know if he was a threat or not, but she helped him and she was going to do the same, as well as get answers.

So while staring at him while he stared at her, she did what she thought what any leader would do.

“I don’t know”.

People started to chat, Jasper and Monty were talking, all sort of possibilities coming out of their mouths while raven looked in deep thought.

She looked back at the man, and he was still looking at her, and she wondered if she had made the right decision.

 

Bellamy POV

 

He didn't know if that was the answer he was looking for, but inside, it immensely pleased him.

 _It shouldn't though_ , he knew it shouldn't, but it did.

He watched her watch him, their staring was like a game, she would look away and then look back, almost like she was trying to convince herself that he was real.

Bellamy turned away when she wasn’t looking and jumped from the tree he was in, the vibration from landing shook his body but he ignored it, moving forward, striding towards his small shelter.

He didn't mind being away from home for long, and his family knew him well enough that he needed space sometimes, the attention he got whenever he came back was overwhelming. Everyone was in awe at their next king, and while he should have been at least used to it by now, even embracing it, it was testing most of the time, he enjoyed talking to the children, but the mothers shoving their barely aged daughters at him was a grim sight, all wanting prominence, power.

Treading through the tunnel to his small shelter, Bellamy closed and locked the door. He put all of his weight on it and lightly pressed his forehead against the cold metal. He exhaled loudly before standing straight and going over to the small bed. The covers were still tussled from where he got Clarke out of them quickly, he sat down, his hands shaking before he scrunched them up into fists, bringing them up to his face, he groaned, he didn't know what he was doing. He hasn't got a bloody clue.

He knew he was going back their tonight, he promised himself to give her some answers and maybe a warning about his nation. He didn't want them to be naïve, no, he didn't want her to be naïve, and giving them some information wasn’t that bad, although justifying it made it seem worse than it already was.

He was stupid. Positively stupid.

He knew he made the right decision, it was whether he was going to regret it or not was the problem. He didn't want to regret it and it didn't seem as if he had gone against his father, he made no comments on not helping them, only observing, and Bellamy did that and listened to his intuition.

Problem was that where he saved Clarke from dying, his father would have let her die, he knew that for a fact. His father was a fair but ruthless man, whereas Bellamy had some traits from him, he wasn’t like that.

He made himself lay down on the bed, shutting his eyes and calmly breathing, _inhale and exhale_ , he didn't want to stay awake and let those thoughts flood his mind, berating and taunting him.

And for once in his life, he didn't dread sleep, he welcomed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a free day today and I do have some more free days this week, so I should be up writing some more! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as always feel free to leave comments/feedback and thank you for the kudos people, very much appreciated! :)
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> EmpressOfRoses.


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke POV

 

“Clarke!”

She whirled her head to the sound of her name being called, finding Raven standing at the base of the drop ship, waving frantically at her.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, moving slowly forward towards her, stopping only to be grabbed by Raven and pulled into the drop ship.

Inside Raven had a lot of electrical gear, it wasn’t unusual to see all of this, but there were wires and other stuff that Clarke had absolutely no idea what was what. Although she had no idea of any electrical stuff on the very technical side anyway.

Raven saw Clarkes face and nodded “I’ll dim it down for you, we managed to find some wires that we’re still “alive” you can say. We hooked them up to the radio to get a signal, right now we’re on radar, and they’re going to have to do their bit up there now” she scrunched her nose up “If they want to get in touch with us that is”.

Clarke nodded, this is good, _finally making progress_ “At least you’re getting us on track”

Raven nodded and got back to her work, although she wasn’t done talking.

“How are you since the kidnapping incident?”

She inhaled sharply, grimacing “Ahhh…fine” _I think._

Raven didn’t notice her uncomfortableness, thankfully “good, if you remember anything, I’m always here to talk”

“Thanks” Clarke muttered before walking out.

She took in the air, as if breathing it for the first time again. She needed it.

_Reality check._

 

**

 

It was nearing dark when Clarke thought about him. Well, actually she had been thinking about him all day, but she hadn’t dwelled on the though until now.

It was hard for her to remember what happened. She remembered very little and remembered him a lot.

She didn’t know why she protected him. She should have said something, and yet, she didn’t. Clarke knew she was going to get grief from everyone if, no, when they find out, but she couldn’t care less.

A shout drew her out of her thinking. She looked around and saw everyone looking towards the fences. She was on the outskirts of the group, and she ran forward, looking for who was shouting.

Pushing past everyone, she found the source.

A girl, no more than ten was on the ground trembling, another girl, around Clarkes age holding her, making a shh sound and rocking with her back and forth.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, kneeling on the ground to them.

“Charlotte” she nodded to the girl in her arms “Had a nightmare, has been having them for a few days” her lip tipped at the sides, a sad smile “I’m Crista, her guardian of sorts, in prison anyways”

Clarke saw from the corner of her eyes, Jasper moving everyone away, quietly going back to whatever they were doing.

“I’m sorry” Clarke said, even though she knew it wasn’t her fault, she felt a bit responsible.

Crista looked at her, eyes shining and her brow furrowed “you don’t need to be sorry, you have done nothing wrong” she softly whispered “you’ve been a great leader and you will be for the future. Don’t forget that”.

Clarke nodded in thanks “thanks”.

She got up and dusted herself lightly off, her trousers were starting to see a new amount of dirt every day. “Will you be alright?” Clarke questioned, and Crista was nodding before she even finished her sentence.

“We’ll be fine. We have to be” _Yeah, we do._

Clarke walked away, heading back towards her tent. She was really starting to feel the effects of today, as well as recovering from that turn for the worse she took. Dragging her feet onwards, she passed the food tent, she made a face at the meat and went for some berries, sweet bitterness.

She passed a few people, nodding her head to them and carrying on, her pace slow.

She got to her tent, a comfort to her now, but she missed the luxury of a bed, or something soft, like that bed she woke up on when she was “taken”.

Walking in, she put the berries on the make shift plate and then turned to sit on the bed of leaes on the floor, only to bump into something hard, the berries falling onto the floor and scattering, she stopped on let her arms fall, inhaling and exhaling slowly, she looked up from under her lashes. His eyes weren’t that dark upon seeing them up close, not as dark as she thought, but she was compelled by them.

She stepped back. She had to. She felt a lump in her throat, swallowing the remains of the berries.

He spoke, voice deep, but he spoke soft, as if to not to scare her. He took the words she had been wanting to say to him for what felt like years but was only a couple of days. Too long.

“We need to talk”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness as well as the shortness of this chapter. I've been very busy and I have had very little time to write unfortunately. I'll try to write next week but no promises due to course work and actual work, but I'll try to make time. I am also not stopping this story, I'm just delayed due to other commitments. I love to write, so I'll really try to make writing time. lol. 
> 
> Many thanks for the kudos and feel free to leave comments/feedback. 
> 
> EmpressOfRoses.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, another story. Yeah I had started this and thought, eh, might as well put it on here. As I stated in one of my other stories I will be posting the same amount for each story, but not as often as I would like to continue them all, just don't expect me to update them all at once, this is a one time thing as I had time today. Anywho, feel free to leave comments/feedback, always appreciated! 
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> EmpressOfRoses


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